I Have A Card Too

Pulling a card from one's sleeves
(Original source: r/usmnt)

With the Round of Sixteen of the ongoing World Cup almost over, the biggest controversy thus far - excepting perhaps the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps announcing the possible development of nuclear weapons after their team's exit - would have to be Folarin Balogun getting his red card rescinded, allowing him to play against Belgium. Such a reversal for a key player would have been headline-worthy by itself, but what really poured fuel on the fire was the revelation that it had come after personal Imperial intervention by GEOTUS, who had pressed FIFA president Gianni Infantino to perform a review. Being a FIFA Peace Prize winner does render some clout!

TRUMP's standing up for a minority birthright citizen would not be received well by netizens, UEFA and Belgium in particular, with the Belgian Football Association lodging an official appeal, and threatening to raise the matter to a FIFA tribunal if they lost. UEFA would moreover release a statement describing the FIFA decision as "cross(ing) a red line" and entirely unjustifiable. The affair would finally be settled on the pitch, with Belgium winning by three clear goals after some atrocious play from the hosts - and then paying tribute to POTUS with his dance. The U.S. team was by the way ranked sixteenth, so an exit at this stage is just about what could be expected anyhow.

That done with (or at least until the CIA discovers that Belgium is pursuing nuke development), we might examine the whole saga in slightly greater detail. Firstly, was Balogun's foul a red card? From the replay, he did catch the opposition player on the back of his calf before landing his foot on his ankle, though it did look unintentional with comparable fouls not punished with straight reds, so one figures it at least debatable.



Guy didn't get his foot out of the way fast enough
[N.B. In case you were wondering why they're both wearing pink boots, it's apparently due to consumer trend forecaster WGSN predicting Electric Fuchsia (pink) and Transformative Teal as the top colours of 2026.]
(Source: aljazeera.com)

Next, did FIFA in fact break its own rules, as accused by UEFA? UEFA's argument is that "...a minimum automatic suspension of one match following a red card is not a discretionary option", with the Belgian FA indeed citing Article 10.5 of the World Cup Competition Regulations towards an automatic suspension. Against this, FIFA cited Article 27 of the FIFA Disciplinary Code, which does clearly state that "...the judicial body may decide to fully or partially suspend the implementation of a disciplinary measure", in dismissing Belgium's appeal. Given this, going by the letter of the law, FIFA does seem entirely entitled to suspend Balogun's punishment at their discretion.

Here, it might be pointed out - as done by some longtime footy fans, and later FIFA themselves - that UEFA are hardly strangers to overturning red cards either, and that they had conveniently kept quiet when FIFA let Cristiano Ronaldo (a European player) off the hook last year, using Article 27 too. As such, the UEFA-FIFA feud might best be described as "a corruptible force meets a morally bankrupt object" for mutual hypocrisy. Moving forward, the French FA is now appealing Olise's yellow card, and the English FA is considering that for Quansah's red. Well, it remains to be seen if President Macron and King Charles love their respective nations, as much as TRUMP did his...

On a personal note, I have only managed to catch a single-digit number of matches in part due to the inoportune timings, some of which (e.g. Portugal vs. Spain, despite its pedigree on paper) I would have happily skipped had but I known. One does get the sense that the gap between teams is narrowing in general, for example with Cape Verde (population: just over half a million) giving probably-second-favourites Argentina a huge scare, before losing 2-3 in extra time. There just aren't many real surprises and secret weapons any longer, what with analytics being conducted on about any league worth its salt.

And a last word on Ronaldinho - he's apparently just signed with Italian third division club Ravenna FC. Stunt or not, it will only add to his legend; maybe other stars have won World Cups, Champions Leagues, Confederations Cups, Copa Américas, Copa Libertadores and Ballon d'Ors (though not all of them), but have they also won a sixteen-kilogram pig in a Paraguayan prison tourney, after trying to enter with a fake passport?